What are your rumble strips?
Sometimes one of the hardest things we can do is to get really clear on who we are and what alignment and misalignment in our life looks like. Do you know your warning signs, telling you you’re about to veer off into dangerous territory?
There are behaviours that each of us has that reflect the best parts of ourselves. The parts of ourselves abiding in Christ that have surrendered to his lordship in our life.
Then there are those parts of ourselves that do not reflect Christ. They are the parts of ourselves, the behaviours, the temptation orientations, that harm us and others. Some describe them as vices while others describe them as our shadow selves while still others describe them as core desires.
I’m an Enneagram 8 with 9 Wing that some describe as “The Bear.” The 8 is the Protective Challenger. According to Beth McCord in her book Enneagram Type, she describes the 8 as having a core desire of “protecting yourself and those in your inner circle.”
McCord further goes on to describe the core weakness of 8’s, which she says are lust/excess. The 8’s are “constantly desiring intensity, control, and power; willfully pushing yourself on others in order to get what you desire.” But what’s underneath that desire because our behaviour is always seeking something, longing for something? McCord says it’s this: “You will not be betrayed.”
That’s me…the one who fears being weak, powerless, harmed, controlled, vulnerable, manipulated, betrayed or left at the mercy of injustice. And when I’m out of alignment, I display behaviours like dominance, compulsiveness, trying to bully my way in an attempt to control a situation or others, simply so I don’t feel powerless or week or vulnerable. I’m compassionate to her when she shows up, she’s trying to tell me something.
At my best, I’m open-hearted, caring, a seeker of justice and an active participant in helping make lives and the world a better place. I like her when I see her.
So, what are my rumble strips? What are my warning signs that I’m misaligned and not fully abiding in Christ, the one who will never betray, harm, or manipulate me? There are a few. I begin to worry and obsess, often losing sleep about some situation or conflict. I can retreat inside myself, afraid to show up in the world. I can become domineering and aggressive to ward off others or challenge them, to push people out of my way.
So, what do I do when I feel the rumble strips of poor behaviour, the desire to control or that I’m wandering away from being grounded in Christ? I retreat, but not the kind of retreat that puts me in my own head, but the kind that puts me into the presence of Christ. I reflect, asking the Holy Spirit to search my heart and name for me what’s happening.
I read the scriptures, reminding myself of who Christ is and allowing the Holy Spirit to remind and teach me about Christ’s accomplished work on the Cross and his promises to me. I revisit my schedule and ask myself if it’s healthy or if I’ve placed myself in a position of striving after something instead of healthily working towards something. I check in with those I love and who know me best.
I’m attentive to the rumble strips in my life, are you? Do you know the warning signs that you’re about to veer off into dangerous territory? Friends, I don’t think we can afford to be ignorant in this area.
If you’re interested in learning more about the Enneagram, you can find more information here or here. If you’re interested in taking a free Enneagram, you can do so here or here.
I view the Enneagram as but one tool to help us understand ourselves better.
May you learn your rumble strips so you can walk in awareness and freedom,
Carmen
