How are you feeling inside yourself? is a guided question Spiritual Care Practitioners or spiritual care providers can use. Using a guided question is a way of giving permission for someone to explore deeper and to really name what’s happening inside them - without judgement! Once you’ve asked the question, let the care seeker explore their feeling. Don’t correct, judge, or dismiss what they’re saying. And don’t start trying to offer solutions. Listen and explore.

When we have a narrative disruption, a term used to describe “events or experiences that disrupt the story or narrative that one has been living and perhaps hoped to live into the future,” things can become confusing and unclear. (Melissa M. Kelley) We may feel lost. We may feel sad or be in shock at what we’ve just seen or heard. We may experience trauma and be completely dazed. There is any number of things that can be considered jarring moments, which interrupt our stories and sense of purpose and meaning.

We are people of stories whose feelings are attached to our stories and experiences. I recently held my granddaughter who’s now 3 months old and I felt incredible joy and delight. In the same week I held my grandbaby, I also sat at the bedside of someone dying. I felt compassion and concern. I reflected on my life journey. I asked myself: How am I feeling inside myself I experience this?

If you sense that someone is experiencing some sort of physical, emotional, or spiritual distress, you’re likely not the solution to their problem, but your presence can be a gift, leading them to or closer to the solutions they’re seeking. And asking the right questions, without judgement, creates space for their meaning-making.

Meaning is the deep sense we make of things, the way we understnad the world, how we articulate the overarching purpose or goal of our lives, the significance we seek in living, the core values by which we order our lives. Meaning also includes theological dimensions such as how we understand God’s activity in the world. God’s feelings about and responses to us, and God’s role in suffering. Meaning, including theological meaning, helps to create order, sense, and purpose out of experiences and events that could otherwise seem random, nonsensical, disordered, or chaotic. - Melissa M. Kelly

In closing, I offer you this question How are you feeling inside yourself? as a powerful tool to be used in your care of others and self.

Peace be to you,

Carmen

Disclaimer: The advice and suggestions offered on this site are not substitutes for consultation with qualified mental or spiritual health professionals. The perspectives offered here are those of the author, not of those professionals with whom readers might have relationships as clients or patients. In crisis situations, readers are encouraged to contact these professionals for appropriate support and treatment if needed.